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UCSB Oral History Project
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F
Nina answers 28 questions posed by UCSB students who had read her 17 page letter.
- Were you religiously devoted to Judaism before the war and are you devoted to it now?
Summary of answer: I was raised in a fairly Orthodox home in Poland. We used to celebrate almost all of the traditional holidays. I used to love Passover because we always had many guests over to our house, but I hated Yom Kippur because we would have to fast for the whole day. During the war however, antisemitic Poles burned many synagogues and religious sites to the ground. At that time, my religious commitment plummeted because I didn't understand how God could allow such atrocities to happen to innocent people. After the war, when I had my own children, I decided to keep the Jewish traditions as much as possible so I could give my children a taste of the joys of religion that I experienced before the war. Now, my youngest daughter keeps a little tradition, but my oldest daughter does not keep the tradition at all. She believes that religion is in one's heart.
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- How long did it take before you started to tell your story?
Summary of answer: When we first came to this country I wanted to tell my story but no one wanted to hear it. Whatever story I had, it had to stay in my heart. However, when I moved to Santa Barbara, I met a Japanese woman named Masa who asked me how I came to this country. After about an hour of discussion, she was amazed by my story and she convinced me to start speaking in schools in the surrounding areas. The first teacher that called me was from Carpinteria and she forced me to speak in front of the class. I was so nervous I did not know what to say. She told to relax and just tell the truth. And that is exactly what I did and what I have been doing ever since.
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- Did you ever tell your children before that?
Summary of answer: I told my children a very limited version of my story because my husband was not very comfortable with his personal experiences in the war. I did not want to cause any sort of discomfort or animosity between him and me and our family, so I limited my story by just explaining in simple details, my escape from my home country to America.
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- Do your children ever speak publicly about the Holocaust?
Summary of answer: They do not speak because they would speak as second generation witnesses to this atrocity. They did not actually witness these atrocities, they only lived with parents who witnessed first-hand. They do not have first-hand experience of the war. My youngest daughter however is an active member of the second-generation war survivors.
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- When the Russian Major was in your house, did you ever feel threatened that he would sexually assault you? What about when you were on the train with all of the German soldiers?
Summary of answer: I did not really come in contact too much with the major when he was living with us. I only had contact with him when I asked him to give a package to my father who was in jail at the time. I asked the major to get a signature from my father, so that I would have proof that he was still alive. The major was very kind and did this favor for me - he helped me prove to myself that my father was still alive. It made me feel so much better. He was a kind and polite man when he was living with us.
The German officer I met on the train was also very kind to me. When the train full of German officers stopped, they would not let me on, I made up a story about visiting my sick aunt, and this German officer divulged his high-ranking status and stated firmly, "she's with me." I ended up being escorted by this man, the whole trip across the border. I later did not know how I was going to get rid of him, because I did not really have an aunt there. So I made up a story about how my aunt would think it very inappropriate if I showed up with a handsome soldier on her doorstep.
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- What were your experiences like when you returned to Lvov after the war? What was the Jewish population like when you returned?
Summary of answer: There were very few Jews because most of them had been killed. [184 of over 200,000 Lvov Jews survived] I am very anxious to see how Lvov looks today. It was bombed so terribly almost 24 hours a day for three weeks. It was never peaceful. The Germans destroyed the Janowska camp completely because they did not want to leave any evidence of this horrible atrocity.
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- What events led you and your fiancée to the United States? When you get to the U.S. did you experience any immigration trouble?
Summary of answer: No, I did not experience any immigration trouble. After the war, I was very sick. When we came to the U.S. it was very hard to establish ourselves. I got a job in a candy business. I was asked to handle the money, but I did not know the language, or how to count American money, so I was fired after three days. I later got a job in another candy business and I stayed there for twelve years. I ended up managing the place. My husband had a job in New Jersey and he had to wake up every morning at 4am to get to work by 6am. We never really spent time together the first couple years when we were trying to establish ourselves.
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- How did you go about looking for your family?
Summary of answer: After about a year in Lvov looking for my family, I felt hopeless. I left Lvov and started travelling with other survivors in a group towards Austria where they had established a displaced persons camp. During this trip, my husband found me in the occupied part of Poland and from there; we went to the displaced persons camp together.
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- How did you feel when the Nazis were taking over? Did you have any desire to leave or run away?
Summary of answer: I had a chance to run away with the Soviets when the Germans invaded eastern Poland [in June 1941], but I did not want to leave my family.
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- Did you regret not leaving with the Soviets?
Summary of answer: I never really had a chance to think about it. Every moment brought me a different situation. I had to think for the moment. I remember having so many chances to leave, but I did not because my decisions were so hurried. When I went to find my mother, after she was caught, I was captured by a soldier and I then asked him, "So you're going to kill me now, right?" He said, "I'm not going to waste me bullet on you, you dirty Jew." If I hadn't said that, he definitely would have killed me because that was the correct punishment for the "crime" I committed.
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- Did your perseverance through everything surprise you? Did you think that you would be able to get through everything that you went through?
Summary of answer: I never thought I would survive. When I took chances, I was only thinking how to get out of the particular situation at the particular moment. When I was in the underground I wanted to make sure I wasn't caught. If I were tortured I promised myself I wouldn't speak the truth. I would have given my life for the cause; I was ready for it because I had nothing else to live for.
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- Could you elaborate on the fates of your relatives? What happened to your sisters and niece?
Summary of answer: My brother-in-law was a doctor and sometimes he worked for the German army. He was told about the troubles that were coming to the city, so he sent my sister and niece away. He made me leave as well. I then went to one of my father's friend's house, a bank director, and they kept me in hiding for a week. They were taking a risk because the Germans were intent on killing even those who helped Jews. At this particular time, they saved my life.
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- Have you heard anything about the press reports to other countries about the Holocaust? Do you harbor any ill feelings about America because they didn't do anything to stop the Holocaust?
Summary of answer: Their government protected the Jews in Denmark. Nobody else backed their Jews up in that manner. Everyone was scared of Hitler. Let me pose this question to you: How would you feel if you were in such a terrible need, and nobody wanted to help you? I don't have hate, but I just don't understand how they couldn't help us?
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- Where did the tension between Jews and Poles come from?
Summary of answer: The tension or anti-Semitism was always there. Brotherhood wasn't practiced in Poland. In the countryside, they used to practice pogroms, where regular, church-going citizens pillaged Jewish homes and temples for no reason at all. Even the priests knew about it. When I was in high school all of my supposed friends turned away from me because I was Jewish. After the war, 180 Jews, survivors were killed because they asked for their property back after the war. The roots of Anti-Semitism were embedded in Poland for so long.
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- When did you become aware of Hitler's plans?
Summary of answer: In the beginning, when the war broke out, we had no idea. In Hitler's book, Mein Kampf, he wrote about the "Final Solution," but I didn't read it. I was young and uninterested in the war. But when the bombs started dropping I became interested. I grew up overnight. Everything happened so unexpectedly. I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams how anyone could do this to another person for no reason. The only reason was because we were Jewish.
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- After you came to America, did you ever think about becoming a doctor or going into that field?
Summary of answer: I didn't really have a chance. We needed to work for money because we had to establish ourselves in New York City. In the beginning we were just living on my salary. The employees at the candy business helped me to gain promotions. When the kids were small I didn't have the chance to.
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- What was the Russian Military camp like?
Summary of answer: We weren't in a camp, but we had to work very hard. We had special work papers. If we didn't work, we were sent to Siberia.
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- Your parents had protected you from Anti-Semitism. Was that a common practice? Do you think that children today should be protected from prejudices?
Summary of answer: This is why I do what I'm doing now. When I speak to schools I like to start with the middle school age. Why show the evils of the world to young children who are just trying to have a happy childhood? But it's good to prepare kids because life isn't a bowl of cherries. When my mother was raising me, it was common to shelter me. I think here in America, you have to teach children. I wasn't prepared for the anti-Semitism and it hurt me in such a terrible way. We have to protect our kids, but at the same time you can't escape the truth.
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- You have met people who have said they don't believe in the Holocaust. What do you say to these people? What is your reaction?
Summary of answer: When I encountered that, I was hurt. I wanted to strangle her. I told her, "after all this evidence, if you cannot respect the memory of these people, you are not a human being," and I walked away. When I came home, I sat and cried and thought about how its possible that people believe that it didn't happen with so much evidence and people like me all around.
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- What did you do when you were looking for your family? Did you contact any rescuers to see about what had happened to your family?
Summary of answer: When I went back, I found a servant that used to work for us named Hanya. She had my stay with her and she gave me clothes and food. I later met another Jewish family that let me stay with them. People established soup kitchens so I used to go sometimes, to those, but I would always be looking for my family walking from city to city, so sometimes I didn't have the opportunity to always depend on the soup kitchens. But I was used to hunger, so it didn't really matter that food was scarce. It's so hard for me to imagine now how I did it.
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- Orthodox Jews often criticize other Jews. Do you feel that "factualism" within the Jewish religion is a threat to anti-Semitism?
Summary of answer: I think Jews should stay together always. If we stay together, we could accomplish a lot more.
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- What was the psychological impact that your experience had on you? Do you have any nightmares?
Summary of answer: In the beginning I was extremely angry. I wasn't myself all the time. I had to pretend. Now I come to the point where I speak up if I don't like something. I didn't understand how I could go through that and survive. When I had anger I would scream so bitterly for ten or fifteen minutes without stopping. I didn't have nightmares but I had flashbacks like were experiencing bombings. I said, "Do you hear the bombings! The bombs are falling down! Where are the kids are the ok?"
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- Do you talk to other Holocaust survivors? Is maintaining contact with survivors a big part of your life?
Summary of answer: There aren't many survivors in Santa Barbara but in LA there are a lot. I had a friend here who doesn't speak about her experiences…she can't. The only person I know who speaks is Judy Meisel.
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- We have read Ordinary Men. What do you think about these soldiers?
Summary of answer: There were some cases were German police officers had to do the killings because they had to support their family. But other than that I just know that the hate for Jews was very strong from every citizen, soldiers or officers or regular citizens.
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- What do you think about the banks that are giving compensation to the survivors?
Summary of answer: The compensation that they're ready to give is very little. They want to save face. There is not enough gold, silver, diamonds, or money to pay off what they did. If I get millions and millions of dollars today, I would say take your millions and give me back my family. Mother was only 52 years old. Our roots go back 150 years. Can I exchange it for material things? NO WAY!
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- Are you planning on going back to Poland or Russia?
Summary of answer: When I spoke to my husband, he said why would you like to open your wounds or give money to the Polish government who wanted to kill you before? On the other hand, I would love to show my youngest daughter, her roots.
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- Were any of your family members in the Polish army?
Summary of answer: My brother in law was taken into the army as a doctor. One of our family friends, a Jew, was taken as well. And several of our cousins were also taken. The partisan group did have a camp in the woods, but they didn't trust me at first, so I wasn't taken there. But I promised myself I wouldn't divulge my secrets. At the time, I was working for the Germans in a post office and for the underground doing illegal things. I encountered my German boss who looked at me and I thought he knew I was Jewish. He said I reminded him of his daughter. Luck or destiny pulled me through. I found help from strangers when I thought I would die.
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- What happened to you when you were sent into the woods to be killed? What were you thinking?
Summary of answer: I couldn't think about anything else except being killed. After the killing, when I was lying there, I didn't believe that I was alive. I heard moans and smelled blood and I pinched myself. I then realized that I was alive. I must have fainted. I said to myself, "this is the way death should be?" I then quickly decided that I needed to get out of this grave. I couldn't hear the moaning any more, so I crawled out of the grave and started running for my life.